I wasn’t always a gentleman. My mother and father did their best to teach me how to treat women, but I wasn’t always a very good man and I was a very far cry from a gentleman. Most of my advice on being a gentleman comes not only from advice my parents gave me, but also from first hand experience on what not to do. When I looked at myself and realized that I hated everything I was and everything I stood for, I vowed to do whatever it took to change. The next day, I took a piece of paper and wrote a letter. It was not a letter of apology. It was not a letter of remorse or regret. There would be plenty of time for that. This letter was simple. It was a letter to my wife. No, I wasn’t married. And I’m still not. This was a letter to my future wife, whoever she may be. It outlines how I feel about her, what I promise for her, and everything I believe about love. It is the summarization and summation of everything I wanted to be in regards to becoming the man and the husband that she deserved.
Even if you’re not at a place in your life where you need to completely change the way you treat women, I highly recommend that you do this. I have run across so many men who wish so desperately to be married that they will fall for the first woman who gives them attention. One of the great things about writing a letter to your future wife is that it will make the type of woman you are seeking clearer in your mind. It will make it easier to wait for the right one. The perfect woman for you will cease to appear in every woman who speaks to you. With that clear picture, you can move forward and you will most readily recognize the right woman when you meet her. Well this is all well and good you say. But exactly how do I write this letter? What do I say? I’m glad you asked.
1. Tell Her How You Feel
Obviously you won’t know exactly how you feel until you decide that she’s the one you’re going to marry. But you can certainly speak in general to how you will feel at about her. You know you have waited for her. You know that you will love her more than anyone else in the world. You know that to you, she will always be the most beautiful, no matter what state she’s in. You know that you will indeed be spending the rest of your life with her. Include these things in your letter.
2. Tell Her About Your Future
Tell her the plans that you have for you two. Children? Travel? Whatever it is, emphasize that you will walk this road of life with her. That you will be together. Make references to growing old together. In today’s society when so many marriages end in divorce, this assures her, and you, that you’re in this for the long-haul. This is a promise. A vow that you have written and goes beyond the marriage vows. You have gone the extra mile to promise her a future of marriage, and that is a fantastic thing.
3. Tell Her About Her
This is so very important gentlemen. This is the part where you tell her about her. This goes beyond her physical attributes that you are attracted to. This is her personality, her strengths that drew you to her. Even if you write this letter before you’ve met your future wife, you know that there will be characteristics that are necessary to have in the woman you’re going to marry. For instance, I know that the woman I marry must be strong and classy without being snobbish. In your letter, mention these things that you’ve been looking for. Trust me, she’ll think it’s great that you waited for her, the one who is your perfect match. It’ll also boost her confidence that she hits every check on your list.
4. Tell Her Simply
You don’t have to be a wordsmith gents. So often in cases like these, simpler is better. Don’t cloud up your point with a bunch of schmooze. Express how you feel in the clearest, most romantic way possible in a way that fits you. If that means saying: “baby, I love you,” go for it. This is a big action. Let this action of writing the letter speak for itself and get out of the way.
5. Tell Only Her
I thought about posting my letter here to give you a clearer picture and example of how to go about writing one of these, but I refrained for one simple reason: this letter should be seen by her and her alone. There will be nothing quite as special as when you hand this letter to her on the night she says “yes” to your proposal. You’ll hand her this letter that you’ve written months, or even years in advance. It will be even more special to her if no one else but the two of you have seen it. Don’t give it to your buddies to look over, or her friends to get an opinion of she’ll like it or not.
Remember gentleman, this letter is for your future wife! Not your girlfriend, or the girl you hope will be your girlfriend. This letter should come out right after she says “yes” at the very earliest. Any sooner and you’re running a terrible risk. It should most definitely not be used to keep your girlfriend from leaving you after you’ve done something stupid. This is not a cheap trick to manipulate her emotions. This is a gift to her, like a fine wine, it’s been aged and saved for the exact right moment. Use it right and it will be incredibly effective. Cheers gents, and man up!